talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
