How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
