I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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