I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
