Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
