I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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