we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
