i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
