I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
