I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
