fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
