Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
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I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
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Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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