Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
