i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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