these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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