My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
