Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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