no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
