____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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