i permit you to call me
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
When are your genitals available?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
