we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
