It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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