Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
