We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
