If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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