its not stalking. its research.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
