In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
