drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize