***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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