I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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