if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
there's paper in my vomit.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize