do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
