I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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