She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
