she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
