drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
