Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Randomize
