I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
