At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize