another moral hangover. fuck.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
