im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
