Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
