Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
