so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
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Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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