i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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