I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize