You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
