I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Couch. On fire.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
