What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The adults are the big ones right?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
