If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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