Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
