Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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