all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
