There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
