I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
