I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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