i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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