other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
