He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
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