It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
