was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
