weddingsv make me drug and hornr
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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