The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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