hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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