i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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